Ch 4 Absent

It's Monday and Rae's sick. She started puking in the middle of the night. Beth say's it's probably the flu. I get Ben ready for school and walk him to the bus stop with all the other parents waiting. Beth has to go to work, so I stay home with Rae.

Rae sleeps most of the morning, so I just relax and watch TV. Rae gets up, she wears her purple-starred pajama dress all day. I give her some toast and eggs for breakfast, something that will hopefully stay down. I get her to drink lots of water and take her temperature. Her fever is really low, low enough for her to be bossy. She loves bossing me around. Get this, get that.

Suddenly, its 3:30 in the afternoon. Where did the whole day go?  I should start something for dinner.

Ben comes home from school, I get him a snack and sign his school field trip form. His class is going to the Childrens Museum next week.

Now it's Tuesday and Ben has the flu. Ben is an easier patient, he just lays in bed and plays with a toy car. Ben thinks he is on vacation or something, he wants to go outside and play. I make him eat soup and crackers and tell him he has to stay inside. I am more productive today; I clean up the house a little and do some laundry.

Ben still has a fever on Wednesday. He says he feels fine, but he wanted to go to the park yesterday, too. Beth says that he has to stay home one more day. I watch her get ready for work. She looks really professional with her hair done up.
"Ben should be fine by tomorrow." Beth tells me. "Thank you for staying with him. I have to work until 5:00 today, so I should be home by 5:30."
What difference does it make to me? I'm not going anywhere.
"If the school calls, pretend you're me and tell them you're sick, alright?"
I nod. Beth doesn't want to get in trouble for me missing school. But its only three days- not like with my mom, when I would miss three weeks in a row.

Steph and Erin both call. It's the same conversation: Where have you been? You sick? Oh, you had to stay with your cousin? Well, are you going to be there tomorrow?
Erin says there's a quiz in math on Friday and then Patrick calls to tell me that we have a lab assignment in science on Thursday, he wants to know if I will be there to be his partner, otherwise he is going to be stuck with the kid who smells like feet. I promise him I'll be there.

And on Thursday, I do go to school. I take Rae and Ben to their bus stop and then continue on to school. The ground is covered in frost now and the grass crunches under my feet, frozen and cracking under my weight.
I look at the doors into school with dread, staring at them as I walk down the sidewalk. It's cold enough to see my breath whiten in the air, I should have worn a heavier jacket than just this hoodie. I'm cold, but I don't want to go into school. The only other people standing outside are the kids who smoke, and any minute now a teacher will open the door and yell at them to smoke off-property. I yank the metal handle and jerk open the door.

My homeroom teacher gives me a 'look' when he takes attendance. “Missed a few days?” He says, looking over his glasses that have slipped down his nose.

“Sick.” I say. Well, I wasn't sick, but that's not the point.

“Glad to see you are healthy now.”

I have tons of homework in math, English and Spanish. Science I just missed taking a bunch of boring notes, but Patrick said he would let me copy off of his. He would even let me copy off of his test if I asked. Steph explained the English homework and said that it didn't take her that long to do it, and gave me an idea for the mini-essay we had to write.

Just after lunch a loud announcement rang out “Jenna Elliot to the counselor's office. Jenna Elliot to the counselor's office.”

“Do I have to go?” I ask Erin, walking next to me down the hall.

“I didn't hear them call for any Jemma.” Erin said.

I go anyway.

“Sorry about that.” Randy says when he sees me walk in. “I asked for them to call you out of class, as in with a note, not over the intercom.”

“Not a big deal. They called for 'Jenna' anyway.”

Randy smiled, but it drops quickly.

I click my my tongue against the inside of my teeth, waiting for Randy to say something.

“I sent a note to your Spanish class for us to meet early today, but I was told you weren't in school.” Randy was giving me a chance to explain. But I didn't feel like explaining. As long as I finished my homework and got all caught up, who cared?

“I wasn't skipping.”

“Never said you were.”

“My cousins were sick.”

“Were you sick?”

“No.” Why did that matter? “I was staying home with them.”

“What about school?"

I don't answer. I just sit there, relax a little into the chair and prepare to sit in silence for a while. I cross my arms against my chest, like armor. I cross my legs and lean back. He has to read the expression on my face- I'm emphasizing it for him, staring right back at him.

He is the one who looks away first, dips his head down. I know he's thinking what to say. Soon, Randy will tell me that I'm not in trouble, he just wants to help me. Or maybe I am in trouble this time.

“What do you want to do?”

I didn't expect that. I expect a little more scolding before we reached this.

“I want to graduate high school.” That was the answer I was supposed to say.

Randy pressed his lips together and shook his dread locks a little. He exhaled. “What do you want to do about this-now-for this semester?”

So I'm quiet again. I don't know what he's really referring to. Do? I'll go to school, do my work and that's it. I hate this. Why am I being treated like the screw-up? It's not like I'm skipping. If this was how things were going to be, at least I would have had fun when I stayed home with Rae and Ben.

After a full two minutes of silence, Randy changes the subject. “How is Drew?”

“Good.”

“Anything new?”

“He's calling me 'sweetie' all the time now.” Oh crap- you're going to analyze that now. I don't want Randy knowing anything about our relationship. I wish he didn't even know I had a boyfriend.

“And that's a bad thing?” Randy seems confused.

“Well... it's just weird.”
Randy doesn't say anything and I can't figure out his expression. Maybe he thinks that means I'm messed up. Or that Drew is moving too fast. People always say teenage relationships move too fast.

“I mean... I'm not used to that.”

Again, no response from Randy.

“No one ever called me stuff like that.”

“Really?” Finally, Randy says something.

“Is that weird?”

“Well, when you talk to your dad, what does he call you?”

“Jemma? Jem, sometimes.”

“And your Aunt?”

“Jemma. Or 'hey you.'” I was joking. I hope that came out clearly.

“I wouldn't say it's weird. But it would be within the norm that throughout your life, especially in your childhood, you would be called by 'pet' names. Usually, as you reach your teen years the cute names become embarrassing.”

So basically, he's saying it is weird, the cutesy names should be ending now, not starting.

“Do you think its strange that Andrew calls you pet names?”

I didn't really think this was important enough to dwell on this long. “I guess not. I mean, at least its not like the really cheesy names other people use. I'm just not used to it from anyone. What do you think that means?”

The tension in the room had dissolved. I wiggle in the chair and Randy sits back against his. “I think it means he cares about you and wants to show his affection.”
“No. I mean what it means about me.”

“Oh.” Randy lets a sigh out, maybe louder than he meant. His face does that expression where he's being thoughtful, but still is casual. “Hearing your dad or grandfather refer to you as 'sweetie' wouldn't be the same to you as your boyfriend saying it.”

I nod a litte. That wasn't much of an answer.

“Do you say it back?” Randy asks me.

“No.” I'm honest, but terrified of what this might mean.

“That's normal, Jemma. Don't think you're messed up because you don't say it back.” Randy re-assured. I wonder if he's lying, though. Is it normal?

“When he says he loves you, do you say it back?” Randy asks.

“Yes.” My voice nearly squeaks, but I didn't realize I was nervous to answer this. Oh... I feel a pain in the bottom of my stomach. I won't answer any more questions about Drew. Thankfully, Randy doesn't ask anymore.

Randy buys me a soda and we come back to his office. I settle myself back into my seat.

“Can we talk more about school?” Randy asks.

I shrug.

“This is what I understand: your cousins got sick and you stayed home to watch them.”
Exactly. Don't see what else there is to talk about. “Yep.”

“Okay. What other options did you have?"
None. I lift my eyebrows, like I'm asking a quesiton, but not really.
"Your aunt?"
Work.  "She couldn't get a sitter in time." I lied. How can she work and also pay someone to watch her kids? She might as well just stay home from work.
"Did you call in to school, tell them you couldn't come?”

“No.”

“Do you think there are any other options, ones that don't result in you having to miss school?”
I thought we just went through this. I shrugged again. “Beth has to work.”
“I get that.” Randy was using some technique- acting like he was 'with' me. “But maybe a neighbor, grandmother, someone else who could stay with them?”
I don't even know my neighbors. And I think that my grandmother, Beth's and my mom's mom lives in another city. Anyway, I never really see her. She came for Christmas one year, like three years ago.

“There's not really anyone else.”
“So how can I help you not miss school?”
“They are better now.”
“Jemma, that's not a solution.”
“Well I don't know. You're the freaking counselor, you're supposed to have the answers.” I turn my head away, focusing on a poster on the wall.

“I want to work with you, not just make decisions for you.”

I call him a cuss word in my head. “Oh yeah, like I have a decision here.”

Randy got quiet. He waited a few minutes, which was good, because I calmed down a little.

“Besides next year-graduation, what do you want?”

“To finish this grade. Get on track with where I should be.”
“You have to complete your homework and come to school for that.”

“It's not like I'm not trying.” I suddenly felt sad.

“This isn't to make you feel bad. This is to know how to help you.” Randy started on his 'you're not in trouble' speech. I could feel it coming with how he leaned forward across his desk.

“What about extracurriculars? What are you interested in?”

“Huh?”

“After school stuff- sports, dance, music.”
“I'm into music.”

“Do you play anything? Were you ever in band, chior?"
I shake my head. "I like guitar." That's not offered in band.

“Want to learn?”

“What?”

“Do you know Mr. Evans?”
The not-too-bad looking history teacher- yeah, I knew who he was. “I had him last year for history.”

“He's offering to teach students guitar after school. Would you be interested in that?”

“Do I need to have my own guitar?”

“I don't think so. Do you want me to get a hold of him and sign you up?”

I nod. But I'm not too sure. But I really would like to take guitar lessons. That would be cool. Amazing, even.

“Jemma, I want to be clear about this- and Mr. Evans is a teacher here, too. If you are skipping school- or missing school- or aren't doing your homework, the lessons will stop. These are an incentive for you.”

Like a bribe to do my homework? Whatever, taking guitar lessons would be cool.